Monday, October 25, 2010

Place Your Bats

For most offices, this week means an onslaught of unnaturally colored baked goods and fun-size candy bars amid a few sparkly orange and black decorations. If your dress code is lax enough, you might even see a few distasteful, though pop culturally relevant, costumes. But here at the Sells Agency, our Halloween celebrations have been put on hold. This Monday there were no tricks, no treats – only TERROR!

It was a dreary, humid Monday morning as Sells Agency employees began to trickle into the building. Gaea Miller, director of finance and usual early bird, arrived first on the scene, expecting nothing out of the ordinary as the elevator doors opened to the second floor. Thoughts of the upcoming pay period were erased from her mind as a new image was seared into it. There it was, outside the window, hanging upside-down in wait.

“Well at first when I saw the big round belly and the beady eyes, I thought it was another politician coming after my vote, and that was the scariest part,” said Miller. “I left the lights off and ran back to my office where I distracted myself by making up random amounts for when I call in this week's payroll.”

Media director Greg Harrison was the next to arrive. Having a demonstrated record of level-headedness in times of skunk-flavored jelly bean dispensation and rodent windshield wiper duct infiltration, his demure reaction surprised no one.

“Really it just looked like a potato with wings hanging on the window,” said Harrison. “I have a friend who says they aren’t dangerous, so I wasn’t worried.”

In the agency-wide traffic meeting, an announcement was made alerting everyone to the imminent danger lurking in the lobby. The minute the meeting ended, copywriter Lauren Carrigan could be hearing yelling, “he’s so cuuuuuute!” as she fumbled to snap a picture with her phone. She was quickly distracted with a large, tedious document to proof before she could bring up the topic of adoption.

Though the threat was removed by mid-afternoon, this image was captured from security footage.